The Florida Man is somewhat of an unsolved mystery. He is the frayed fabric from a worn tobacco ring in his back pocket. He is the breeze that blows through your hair while you donut on an ATV. He is that little echo in the air when someone says “Hey, the look is!” He truly is Florida and Florida is him. He is not the same as your average Florida male resident. Florida Man is a brand.
Every day, there’s a story where one of the characters shoots something or yells incomprehensible gibberish in Natural Light Addled Rage before being arrested. We all have our stories from our hometowns, and while it is shameful, we can rest assured that we aren’t from Florida unless we are, in which case we will be keeping you in our thoughts.
We have compiled a list with some of the most outrageous headlines that he wrote in honor of the Florida Man. All of these headlines should be considered allegations. We can accept the possibility that a Florida Man exposed himself in the Walmart pillow aisle. However, it is not something we will be able to ignore. It is up to the Florida Man and the Good State of Florida to decide. We can still laugh at ourselves, even though we are being accused. We have some headlines for you to enjoy, so grab a Skoal Lipper and get into the nearest Papasan chair.